Recently I was asked why I call myself White Girl in Black Face. I’ve addressed that question in bits and pieces, but I’ve never fully explained my motivation. So thank you, dear reader, for pushing me to do what I’ve been avoiding. Let me try to break it down.
I chose the name because:
1. I’m telling it like it is.
My mother is white and my father is black. I have never met my father. I was raised with my mother and adopted by her second husband, who is also white. Growing up, both sides of my family, locally, were white. The majority of our neighbors were white. The majority of my parent’s friends were white. The majority of my classmates were white. You get the idea. Inasmuch as race is a social concept, I was socialized as a white person. I had little access to blackness. When we were moving, I asked my parents if we could live in Arbor Hill, which was the most heavily black neighborhood in Albany. I felt estranged from black people, but I was aware that I “looked” black.
2. I’m questioning race.
What is blackness? According to the modern American concept of race, it is having one or more black ancestors. What is whiteness? The absence of black ancestors. That’s why people can call Barack Obama our first black president even though his mother was a white lady from Kansas. If the definition of blackness was having no white ancestors, there would be no black people, certainly not in America. If the definitions of white and black were the same, neither race could exist. American racial categories have no empirical foundation.
Biologically speaking, there have never been “races” in the sense of a group in which all members share certain genetic traits. Two “black” people might have less in common genetically than one black person and one white person. Our modern concept of race originated during slavery when perceived differences between black and white were highlighted and accentuated as a justification for stripping people of their rights and humanity. As we all know, blackness was used as a basis for all sorts of cruelty and mistreatment, whereas whiteness was used as a basis for all sorts of protection and advantages. I believe it is impossible to separate race from its racist origins.
3. I’m embracing ambiguity.
When I applied to NYU, I marked both black and white on the application. After enrolling, I received paperwork in which I was classified as black. I called the registrar’s office to explain that one of my parents was white and one was black. They told me that they didn’t have space in the computer for two races.
Rewind a year. In high school, I was a volunteer at the NYS Legislature. I worked with an Assemblyman who agreed to propose a bill on my behalf to add a “multiracial” category to school and state forms. The idea being that people like me aren’t half this and half that, we’re 100% mixed — a whole new thing. The bill was vehemently opposed by several members of the house and Senate, most notable by Denny Farrell, Chair of the Ways and Means committee. He called me (seventeen year old me) for a meeting and explained that, by insisting on my multiracial identity, I was taking power away from black people. He felt that I was eschewing that responsibility to be counted as black. I argued that there was power in self-identification. He promised to kill the bill and he did.
I do not deny the existence of black culture. I do not deny the music, the food, the sense of humor, or the love. I do not deny collard greens or the blues. I do not deny the need to stand strong against oppression and disenfranchisement. But I could never see how embracing the dual concept of race, a system invented to degrade, is empowering to black people. The reason this was so clear to me even in high school was because there was no place for me. And yet, I walked and I talked and I breathed. Sometimes I burped. I knew I existed.
“If the existence of certain human beings causes problems for certain concepts or systems of categorization, then it is the concepts or systems of categorization and not the human existants which need to be criticized and changed.” – from Race and Mixed Race by Naomi Zack, Philosopher
4. I’m flipping the script.
By calling myself White Girl in Black Face, I am questioning the exclusivity of whiteness. I am proposing that race is not intrinsic, it is learned. I am not trying to be white or trying not to be black. I am refusing to play along.
5. I want to get to the next level.
I believe that in order for any of us to be free, we all must be free. Things are changing and they’re going to keep changing. It’s pretty simple. I want to be where we’re going, not where we were. Also, I like when things make sense.
6. Oh and lastly, I’m f*****g joking, people.
Ok, your turn. Tell me what you think, “like” my post, pass it on, tweet it, facebook it, tumble it, stumble upon it, subscribe to the blog (button on upper right). Talk to me. Love me. Electronically.
Your definitions of black and white makes your point so crystal clear!! “Blackness is having one or more black ancestors….Whiteness is the absence of black ancestors….. If the definition of blackness was having no white ancestors, there would be no black people, certainly not in America. If the definitions of white and black were the same, neither race could exist.”
Thank you for presenting that simple reasoning about “race”. I have heard you say “you didn’t believe in race, and that it doesn’t exist…” but I don’t think I fully understood what you meant until now.
Great article, you bring a lot of intelligence and insight into a difficult topic, which really shouldn’t be difficult – but in a America it is.
Its a tricky issue, I have African friends that said that didn’t know they were “Black” until they came to America. They just thought of themselves as whatever ethnicity they belonged. There, they are defined by ethnicity and here we are defined by color.
But I do see Denny Farrell’s point, when it comes to politics its a numbers game – especially since “Black” people only make up %13 of the US population. In order to have “power” in politics you have to connect with a group with similar socio-economic interests and have your demands heard through the power of your numbers.
Also, people who share the same skin color tend to face the same discrimination and exploitation. For instance, the prison system. The huge number of “Black” males in the system is insane. Unfortunately, without the “labels,” how can we attack the racism in the system without the numbers?
That being said, I totally agree with you. The enlightenment process is a long and hard road for this country and the world.
right, i totally get his point too… in the sense that choosing black is a political move (he is mixed race as well). but he basically told me that if i didn’t choose black, i was a traitor and didn’t care about black people. it just didn’t make sense to me. how could i be a traitor by just saying who i was? i only wanted the option.
his fear was that if there was a multiracial option, that a large percentage of previously designated black people would choose it. i did not see that as a negative. i see it as a large leap forward. if we play within the system, we will only get results within the system. if we break down the system, we can really move forward. yep, idealistic i know. but i refer back to the naomi zack quote… if my existence causes problems for a system, it’s the system that needs to change.
Beautifully written post.
I remember when you were in high school working on that bill. I read your post yesterday and was thinking about it last night. My wife got us tickets to the Sarah Silverman performance. She remarked at the lack of black people in the audience. At the end, she took questions from the audience. When the guy with the microphone saw me with my hand up, he went right to me. Sarah asked, “Are you black? Do you know him?” (pointing to the one black audience member she could see.)
I almost forgot what I was going to ask her. There was a high def camera pointed at me.
“I can’t see him,” I said. I was in Row V.
“I have the same problem,” she said. Then the tooth joke (see can see you when you smile).
But I asked my question anyway.
“What surprised you the most about working on Greg the Bunny?”
She said that the set on Greg the Bunny was built with two levels, one for actors and one for puppeteers, and that the puppeteers got so used to walking around with their arms stretched up that they stayed that way at lunch time.
thank you for sharing this story, uncle fred. i once went to the daily show with my mom. jon stewart was talking to the audience and made a joke about us not being able to be mother and daughter. i don’t know if that’s quite the same thing, but i also kind of froze. it didn’t feel good. it wasn’t funny to me, it was representative of all the racial “stuff” i’ve had to deal with throughout my life. like i told my friend karmin, who was also there, i love sarah silverman, but i don’t think anyone is beyond reproach. i’m not sure if i buy the “i’m joking about the joke” thing. am i just being too sensitive? hmmm…
I don’t think you’re being sensitive at all, at least not more sensitive than you need to be. I guess there are two keys that seem to be relevant: context and the intended audience for the joke.
The “smile so I can see you” joke would be funny if I lived somewhere where no one would every dream of making a joke like that. Unfortunately, the last time I heard it, it was meant un-ironically. The guy who said it thought he was not only being funny, but also original.
I don’t think that, when Jon Stewart or Sarah Silverman make jokes like that, we are part of the target audience. Those jokes are for someone else, someone who can consider it with more detachment.
MyLinda and Maya get that all the time. On line at the supermarket, one woman went as far as to ask “Is she adopted?” When black people see her with Jordan, they get it. White people comment on his tan and curly hair.
good point. the fact that these jokes are still sometimes meant for real makes it difficult to take. it’s sort of like putting someone in a room and shocking them repeatedly, then taking them out and saying you are going to stop. then pulling out the buzzer again and saying, “haha, i was just kidding. can’t you take a joke?”
the target audience thing is true as well. it feels like being laughed “at.” in my experience, many white people feel almost relief in laughing at themselves. black people have been the butt of so many jokes for so long that relief for them would be NOT laughing. we are at a unique moment in time where many of the wounds are still open while some are healing and we are starting to acknowledge how truly mixed up we all are. i think you have to be a damn smart comedian to pull off a good joke. dave chappelle and chris rock come to mind.
i can relate to what you described with mylinda and the kids. black people are typically less surprised when they see that my mom is white as well — it was usually obvious to them that i was mixed all along. it’s like they are more attuned to seeing the subtle differences because they have always seen mixed people as one of them. white people, on the other hand, have been encouraged to see anyone with a hint of black as black, and discouraged from noticing the variety. it’s all about who we see as “us” and who we see as “other.”
This isn’t a challenge question, but what or how would you do it if you were bringing up a child like yourself, with parents of different “races”? You did have relationships with your black grandparents, aunts/uncles/cousins to some extent, though it was certainly way less than the rest of the family.
that’s a big question. i suppose one thing i would do is try to live in a mixed area or neighborhood. and i would make it an open subject, acknowledging the way the world is and keeping a free dialogue about race issues. i’d back up my kid if they needed backing up. i’d try to travel with them a lot, maybe live in another country for a while. and i’d encourage them to start a blog.
Hey lady!
First, you know I love your perspective. I’m all mixed up with obvious white and Asian, possibly obvious Native American…and following up a dirty family secret, I recently dug into the tree and finally found at least one great-great with “mulatto” on the census report. (Let’s just for the sake of flow, not even get into the history of that word.) The sad part for me was seeing the blanks on the race question. I know it was a long time ago, and seeing the only options being white, black, Indian and later Chinese, is one sign of the times. (Indian! ha! Like, India? Another off branch rant.) Anyway, it pisses me off today still that people would declare white if they could “pass”…ugh… At any rate, I found my black, and it feels awesome for some reason (another one.) And on that note, Obama most surely is not the first black president. Over the generations, a lot of America’s blacks have lightened up, some are so light, nobody feels the need to claim the black! Whatevs, one love!
Ok, so Fred! I was at the Sarah Silverman show. I sincerely hope you do realize and fully understand that her style is bold and she is absolutely the opposite of a racist. I do fear that a lot of people don’t get her/what she’s really saying. So to joke about only being able to see the white of the teeth, is merely a joke on the old joke, right? She’s brilliant…her topics make people nervous sometimes, but her intelligence and humor about people and the bs of society is astounding
I *loved* that she was joking on the white protestant nature of Portland! haha!
xo
ah yes, passing. just one of the terrible symptoms of racism. but i’m afraid you’re missing my main point which is that if someone is mixed, and it is perfectly acceptable for them to call themselves black, why is it “passing” to call themselves white? to say that america’s blacks have lightened up is to play along with the one drop rule. we can just as easily say that america’s whites have darkened. see what i mean?
re: sarah, she sure is bold and i love her for that. honestly, i’m not getting on stage talking about this stuff, so i admire and appreciate her for doing it, and hopefully she is willing to take the flack.
I’m not missing your point at all. Passing for white is something that has happened in the history of this country, and it can’t be denied even though it’s ugly and politically incorrect. Terminology that was used, as much as it may sting the ears, was in fact used, and isn’t necessarily being used in ignorance or insensitivity if you hear it now. Today in order to make points, some of us refer to those terms, and that’s a way to convey the language of the subject matter.
I don’t play along with any one drop rule, but as I inferred in my reply, I am happy to recognize each of my ethnic colors -which is a few, I’m mixed too, we all have our experiences, don’t forget that. What I said about blacks lightening is a physical thing that has happened, and I said it to support as visible evidence what I was saying about a vast majority of Americans being mixed by now -yes, whites being darker too. If you look at my mother’s mother, who is “white” you would probably see her as an example of that immediately.
You speak your opinions and of your desire for a very ideal society. That’s great, but exactly how do you propose the shift will happen? Just because things should be a certain way, you must regard reality, and it would be helpful to have suggestions for a solution rather than just declaring how people should speak about a subject.
The brunt of almost every one of Sarah Silverman’s jokes is white people, and seeing her show with your walls down, that’s obvious. I’m quite positive she can take the flack. She seems to know how she sees things and who she is, which makes her less vulnerable than those of us who are publicly figuring that out (yes, you, and me too, as you may or may not know about the blog I’m writing.)
i’m certainly not denying that passing has ever happened! i’m only saying that the very concept of passing can only exist as a result of racism and the one drop rule. i’m not breaking any major stories there, i know. just pointing it out. i mentioned it because you seemed to be referring to passing not only in the historical sense, but you said that even today, it pisses you off that people would “pass” for white. i’m just noting the double standard there. i know this is an idealistic view and i’m not really saying, let’s pretend history never happened. my point is more philosophical/conceptual.
it’s true, i’d like to shift more toward these ideals. this dialogue and all our “publicly figuring things out” is one (tiny) way i think that can happen.
i never meant this to be a debate about sarah silverman (sorry, sarah! LOL) but because of our history and the imbalance of power, i believe that white people being the brunt of white jokes is a different scenario than black people being the brunt of black jokes.
i hope you don’t feel i was accusing you of anything. i appreciate your thoughts. you referenced your blog… do you mean the one about your daughter? please, share the link!
Hey Karmin
I know Sarah Silverman’s style. I watched Jesus is Magic Wednesday night just to prepare. Somehow, when the camera was in my face, I was very self-conscious of how I was reacting to the joke. The whole point, I know, is to play with that uncomfortable feeling of the inappropriate reference.
But I kept laughing! I had a great time at the show.
Oh good!! She was hysterical! You know on her show God is a black man, right?
Glad you enjoyed the show -and I’m sure glad we weren’t those two late people in the front row! Yikes! Now that was serious!
Or the two who sneaked into their seats. That was funny.
I think at NYU they use the one drop theory. One drop of african blood means ur black. Usually most if not all bi-racial ppl get categorized as black. Because most typically look like light skinned black ppl. I would think that depending on ur enviroment I guess thats when u choose sides. It also depends on ur personality too. Halle Berry says she is a black woman even though she was raised by her white mother, same with Alicia Keys. I’d like to know what causes a person to identify with only one side.
thanks for commenting, rivly! NYU was just my example. the issue, of course, is a much wider societal one. i think that people make decisions about how to identify based on many reasons, including their appearance, their family, their politics, etc… and it may change throughout their lives. i’m making a choice to stand my middle ground.
and just to make the point again, to say that biracial people look like light-skinned black people is part of the whole confusion of the one drop rule. why do we not say that they look like dark-skinned white people?
Anybody type what they want to say, and then erase it repeatedly? I wish I could be genuine friends with this lady. Hm. That sounds creepy. But, life. I always wonder about all of the things I could learn from the wonderful people I will never meet. I will stop before I ramble anymore. But as a random internet person, I salute you newmeadow. Race is learned, and I am just an American who’s skin happens to be brown… I’d like to read your memoir.
ha! thank you for the salute, lia. it’s interesting, this electronic form of “knowing” each other, so i get you. i’m very glad my words are resonating and i can’t wait for you to read my memoir.
Not enough time to express eloquently or even coherently – but really appreciate all your thoughts. Thanks Meadow for initiating. Long live self-identification. Sam I am.
xo
W
lol by the definition of black you give i am black even tho i am paler than a ghost. my great great grandmother was listed as “colored” in one census report and white in the next. The reason i like reading your blog is it makes me think about my little sister she doesn’t like to talk about race she is half what ever my father is and 1/4 black 1/4 native American and as her big sister i think she is the prettiest girl in the world. we grew up in the rural south and i know her experience is not like yours but it still makes me wonder if she ever has moments like what you talk about.
I am an older person (40′s) of mixed ancestry and in the 70′s growing up was as you described in dealing with society. I can add that you are not alone as I know I felt during those years and it was not until the internet that I began to realize that it was not me that was guilty or weird or whatever i was thinking, but it certainly changed when i knew there were others out there that experienced circumstances like mine through groups and now Facebook.
Glad to see our president and celebrities that are visible in the world and in the nation, as well as authors, athletes and local people. Be encouraged that things are changing slowly but surely and eventually we will see a shift in these old-fashioned perceptions that has plagued us for so long and see the dawn of a new day.